I am a 21 year old college male struggling with grades and perception. I have been battling ADHD and Trichotillomania for all of my life and I feel like it has gotten the best of me in all of my endeavors. Looking back at the last three years of my college experience, I feel that my grades do not accurately reflect the person I am or what I aspire to be. I think I am inadequate and incapable of achieving my dreams or supporting my significant other. I worry constantly about what each day will bring and hope that I can continue to put one foot in front of the other. I felt alienated and alone when coming to college, as the bulk of my friend group decided to stay at home and attend the community courses. I feel close to those around me but imagine that I should be more confident by now. I want to pursue my passions and dreams but I am hindered by my feelings, memories, and biology. I plan on embarking on a journey to Germany this summer to find myself. To find who I am and what I can be. I want to train myself to be more reliable and accepting of who I am. I want to return a different person and not relapse into my old faults. I need to do this for those I love and so that I can learn to love myself. I cannot change here.